Epilepsy Chronicles: In the Throes...

     I fear the worst.  My body is out of control.
     Relieve me of my consciousness.  At this moment, relieve me of my consciousness.  Help me.  God, help me. Help me to hang on.
     My right arm and leg are falling off my body.
     God, help me. ... Mom, help me.  I need you.  Mom, help me.
     Home alone, I cry as though Mom can hear me from the next room.
     Mom, help me.  I need you.
     "You will learn to live independently," she said.  "You will learn to live independently."
      My roommate is gone.  I need you.  How dare you leave me in my time of need!  How dare you leave me in my time of need.
     I am alone.  Someone has been here, always someone has been here--within earshot of my cries.  However embarrassed, or shame filled I have been that I have not taken my medicatiion, someone has been within earshot. 
     I am alone.
     Maybe if I turn on my right side, my arm and leg will stop shaking.  Maybe, they won't fall off my body.  What else can I do?
     Relieve me of my consciousness.  Let me sleep.  My head is throbbing.  Let me sleep off my throbbing headache.  My head is throbbing.   
     Finally, without my knowing, sleep is given to me.  My consciousness relieved.