Zoomer Chronicles: Reactions

     Zoomer and I explored the sidewalks, curb cuts, and streets southwest of my downtown condominium.  The weather is bone-chilling;  the sky is gray.  45 degrees Fahrenheit is a far cry from my Minnesota springtime fantahsy.
     Curb cuts, and streets is the terrain best suited to weekend travel.  More room for indecision.  Less likelihood of running into--literally, or figuratively--impatient drivers.
     Today's goal?  Wheel from 9th Street to 5th or 6th Street.  Joy the Joystick, and Zoomer were up to the task.  Brainy the Blockhead has yet to finesse doorways sufficient to win my confidence.  Brainy has a mental block, when it comes to finessing.  OK...OK...So, Brainy can finesse some doorways, and more narrow spaces.  Yet,  Brainy has a hard time negotiating offers from others to open doors for her.  Could it be?  Is Brainy a closet feminist???
     Offers of help send Brainy jolting forward and backward to accommodate the gracious offers.  Zoomer has made clear to Brainy the Blockhead, and Joy the Joystick that running into people is not polite--is not acceptable--and must be avoided at all costs.  Zoomer has prevailed--so far.
     Fears of people being condescending toward me, when they encountered me with Zoomer, have been for naught.  In fact, the reactions of people--neighbors, and other people I encounter--is an outgoing attitude contrary to how I have known them to be.  One neighbor, in particular, stands out to me.  A soft-spoken, self-effacing man has been a neighbor for many years.  Neither of us have done much in the manner of reaching out to one another.  Zoomer was my elevator guest, who met my neighbor for the first time.  Trying to abide by my instruction not to run over anyone, Zoomer was hesitant to join my neighbor in the elevator.  My neighbor encouraged us to join him.  Zoomer and I did the doe-see-do without doing him in.  A delightful conversation ensued.
     Zoomer, when do you think we can go back out again to test a few more street corners?  When will the weather change?  Any word Joy?  Do you know anything, Brainy?

Personal Disclosure

Praying as Self-discovery 
 Prayer is not, first and foremost, saying prayers. It is opening the most intimate part of ourselves to God. It is discovering that in the deepest part of our body and our being there is a source, and that source is God. God is the power that unites the universe and gives everything meaning.

- Jean Vanier, Our Journey Home, p. 215   

   Personal disclosure.  Several instances this week have brought personal disclosure to mind.  Most recently, learning about a new search engine—Blekko—that I wanted to try.  I am a research geek mind you.  Logging on to Blekko called for me to reveal information about me, my life, and my values.  I am not embarrassed about myself, my life, or my values.  It has taken me many years to arrive at that point.  Personal disclosure is the price to be paid for learning, and exploring.

   Personal disclosure.  Facebook.  This week, a number of friends, family members, and organizations made me aware of the degree to which I am comfortable in sharing about myself with other people.   Looking at the Facebook pages of friends, and younger relatives, who are at varying degrees of involvement with Facebook reveal what my boundaries are.  Some question the privacy concerns of being involved on Facebook.  My view is that it is not the medium, but, how I or others use it that establish its value in my life.  

     Personal disclosure.  My threshold for personal disclosure are being tested currently.  How?  PrisonTalk would allow me to gain insight I need to understand prison life, so that I may be more supportive.  I am drawn to PrisonTalk by the opportunities to learn about and gain insight into prison life.  Trust is clashing with personal disclosure.  I find personal disclosure regarding my own life, and values to be fairly easy.  Yet, I do not want to make disclosures about someone else in hopes of gaining the information I am seeking that would endanger them in any way.

  Personal disclosure.  Delusions I had that I was very comfortable with what other people think of me--of my capabilities--were shattered to smithereens.  I began volunteering.  Good grief.  I am working with delightful people.  I know how to do what they want, at least the essence of what they want.  Yet, my nervousness--my personal need to be impressive on the first day made for a disaster, from my eyes, not from other people's judgments of me.  I think I have purged myself of the nervousness, so I am hoping that I will be able to go in on Friday to offer help....

     [Friday evening] I succeeded.  Fears of having lost my capacities to work in the work world again were for naught--the fear of revealing my human imperfection.

    Personal disclosure.  In conversations we have had about sympathy versus empathy, Mom said that we could never understand what another person experiences.  To some degree that is true.  Yet, I believe understanding another person's experiences--truly understanding someone else's experiences is possible, if we are willing to invest our experiences in communion with other individuals.

    Personal disclosure.  I consider myself to have principles.  Or, I have considered myself to be a woman of principles.  Yet, Jean Vanier, Blekko, Facebook, and PrisonTalk challenge my principles.  Jean Vanier leads me to question whether I want to be a woman of principle, or am I willing to be a woman of personal disclosure.