Bravery...Courage...Cowardice...

     I honor the men, women and children spoken of in recent days with regard to the Newtown, Connecticut.  I honor--I write to illuminate the true meaning of bravery, and courage.  This is not long held by me, rather, it is only inspired by the Newtown school shootings--by Robbie Parker, the father of Emilie Parker, a six-year-old girl, who was shot in Newton, Connecticut.
    Bravery.  Bravery is a vehicle by which a human being moves on a journey through loss, grief, challenge, or other life transition.
   "Bravery" is not--should not be--a crowning glory that serves to separate human beings from one another due to life circumstances.  Though some of us may have experiences more in common with some individuals, none of us has identical life experiences.  Yet, each of us does share with one another the experience--the gift--of being human.  We are called to share that gift.
     Too often, "bravery," and "courage" are spoken of in terms of flag waving, and throne- or perch-sitting.  I see it differently.  Finally, I see it differently--with clarity.
     When we laud those who have been in the military, we say, "the brave men and women in service or in the service.  Yet, we do not carry that over to our everyday civilian lives.  Service or the service is a commitment to a communal advancement of shared goals.
     Courage.  Courage is a personal attribute that fuels our vehicle--our bravery.  Without the initial drive we would be stuck--forever stuck--in our grief--in our loss.
     The choice, if you can call it that, not to embrace courage and bravery is to remain stuck--to fail to develop, nurture, and share the gifts we have been given.  Are we really willing to live in complete isolation, be it literal, or figurative, because we are too timid--too cowardly--to do the work necessary to free ourselves?
     I pray not. I dare you.  Be driven by courage.  Be moved by your own bravery.  Be inspired by others, but, do not use their bravery as a substitute for your responsibility to embrace--to engage in--your expression of bravery--your willingness to be driven with courage to acts of bravery.   

September 11...1948

     An oft-ask question is, "How will you be commemorating September 11th?"
     I commemorate September 11th with my life.  You see, on September 11, 1948, my parents were married.  While others commemorate the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and on Shanksville, Pennsylvania, the people lost, the first responders--I celebrate the wedding of my parents in 1948--63 years ago.
     I commemorate September 11th--with the pursuit of peace and understanding among people--each day.  How?  A cliche? No.
     Among people is not a nebulous term.  I pursue peace and understanding with each individual I meet, know, and love each day.  I am not a Pollyanna.  Not everyone shares my views and preferences on issues and matters large and small.
     I do not claim myself to be a proud American.  I wave no flags.  I wear no pins.  I parade no routes.  I do get choked up on Election Day--on- and off-year elections just the same.  I do get choked up on Inauguration Day.  Party matters not to me.  I am not a proud American.  I am a committed world citizen.
     By definition, I am no patriot--I am not patriotic.  I devote my energies in search of peace and toward understanding, rather than in defense of America, and seeking vengeance, or being vigilant against acts of terror.  I prefer to be vigilant for acts of peace.      
     I seek peace each day with each individual I meet that day.  I seek not complete agreement.  I seek understanding.  Different views, different preferences--different perspectives--invite me to deeper understanding.
     Seeking peace--seeking understanding--is not grandiose.  Peace and understanding are my daily aspirations--one person, one day at a time.
     I commemorate the peace and understanding that was married on September 11, 1948.  Happy 63rd anniversary, Mom and Dad.  Thank you for your example of love--your commitment to peace.

Respect. Listen. Negotiate. Compromise. Agree.

     It is quite simple. Agree on one basic principle as the foundation of all negotiations. None of us is guaranteed that we will wake up tomorrow with the same capacities we have today. We are equal partners. None of us is braver due to military service. None of us is less fortunate due to disability, financial status, or any other quality. Each of us is human. Sit down. Listen. Respect one another. Negotiate. Blame is a luxury we can ill-afford. Sit down. Listen. Respect. Negotiate. Compromise. Agree.

     The budget negotiations engender feelings different from moral indignation, or outrage.  Self-righteousness, outrage, and moral indignation siphon off the vital energy necessary to negotiate with reason, logic, and respect.  On a balance beam, this ballerina is left of center.  However, she does see the value of what both sides of this debate are saying.  

     To conservatives, I understand some of what you say.  It is our responsibility to be less dependent upon government, if we are to solve budget deficits.

     I don't know the extent to which I may do that.  Yet, you do lead me to reflect upon what my dependencies are.  What actions am I taking to depend upon the private sector, and spur business in my community?

     What actions have I taken?  Two primary investments stand out.  Long-term care insurance, and long-term disability insurance.  

     I recognize my needs--physical, financial, emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual.  I recognize my social status--not my economic classification.  I am single.  I have cerebral palsy.  I have epilepsy.  I take medication for seizures.  An ankle foot orthotic--a brace, and durable medical equipment--a wheelchair, are undeniable parts of my present, and my future.  These are facts.  My feelings regarding these facts are irrelevant luxuries that I can ill afford.

     Though the daughter of an accountant, I did not understand the practicalities of a balance sheet as deeply as I do today.  With facts, realities, needs, and resources identified, the next logical step is to ask, what actions am I taking, within my capacity to do so, to ensure that I live a high quality life.

     I am single--the youngest of three "children."  Though I am blessed with a loving family, I need to secure resources to ensure a full life.  Thus, long-term care insurance.  That is a contribution toward a future that I have yet to live.

     Cerebral palsy.  Epilepsy.  These two facts did not represent degenerative diseases in my understanding.  Epilepsy is not.  My cerebral palsy is a co-conspirator with my aging body.  My cerebral palsy accelerates my physical needs before they would present themselves to other individuals.  Though not fully aware of, or enthusiastic in embracing my future needs, a little voice of wisdom advocated on my behalf.  The wise, though timid, ballerina tiptoed into a long-term disability policy.

     Long-term care insurance, and long-term disability insurance are hardly glamorous trophies to display.  Yet, they are but two actions taken that will and have lessened my dependence on the government.  I have taken a small part toward lessening some of my dependence on government.

   Another action is more subtle--my intent.  I have no intent to ask for more than I need.  Needing and deserving are not synonymous.  

    In 2012, I will become eligible for Medicare.  I am fully aware of what is medically necessary for my survival.  Much is said of Medicare fraud, the ailing health of the Medicare program.  Yet, little is said of being cognizant of our medical needs versus our medical deservings for lack of a better word.   

   I nurture strong relationships with my family, and friends.  I am engaged in a vital faith community that challenges me to live fully.

     As to my liberal beliefs, my assessment is in different terms.  We do need to present a stronger case for the people we are trying to protect.  We do ourselves a great disservice to speak of those less fortunate than ourselves.  That weakens the entire basis of our beliefs.  Anytime we parade individuals up as poster children for a cause, we provide conservatives with an easy target.  In no way am I saying that the individuals mentioned are not worthy of the relevant services.

   We are not providing a clear picture of who needs the relevant services.  Any one of us may find ourselves in need of the various programs, and services for which we advocate.  Not sometime in the distant future.  Tomorrow.  We may find ourselves in such need tomorrow.  We must broaden the base of who the programs and services are promoted to benefit.  This is not easy.  It is difficult to admit.  It is difficult to demonstrate.  

    We must dispense with a we-versus-they, or us-versus-them model of policymaking.  As long as we preserve an us-versus-them policymaking model, it is the quality not the financial figures of our budget that will be in a state of deficiency.

    Each of us is responsible to make an honest accounting of our needs, our resources, our actions, and then return to our outstanding needs to settle this deficit.  We must dispense with bravery, and less fortunate than in order to center ourselves on the balance beam.

Courage. Bravery. Heroes.

     The words "courage," "bravery," and "heroes," re-present themselves through the stories in the Tuscon Shootings tapestry.
     Never have I been comfortable with any of these three words.  Yet, others gravitate toward them--blare them proudly from a megaphone.  Why do I shun the words?  Why do others claim them worthy of admiration?
    Courage.  
    Twelfth century Old French defined courage as, "heart, innermost feelings; temper." 
    In my humble opinion, to laud any human being as a hero serves only one purpose.  "A hero" is an excuse not to aspire to living beyond ourselves--beyond what we imagine we of ourselves.
    Bravery.
    In the 1540s, the French braverie was defined as "daring, defiance, boasting." I doubt that bravery is used today intent on conveying boasting.
    In the 14th century, hero was defined as "man of superhuman strength or courage."  By virtue of the 14th century definition, it seems impossible for any human being to be a hero.  How is it possible to be super-human?  
    To laud any human a hero serves nothing but a selfish purpose.  A hero prevents any of us from striving for--aspiring--more than what we imagine we might be capable of being.
     Bravery.  Courage.  Hero.
     We have yet to embrace a word that nurtures a curious spirit committed to learning, and exceeding what any one of us has accomplished yet today.
     I have resisted admiration for precisely the same reason.  Yet, my view has change.  I feel deep admiration--a quality that in no way is encapsulated in deep respect, or deep regard.  I have been given deep admiration for my family, my friends, and my life.  Deep respect, nor deep regard do not go deep enough to embrace the fullness admiration offers.
    So, I continue to search.  Deep respect is the pathway to deep admiration.
    May deep admiration be the journey toward a companion more worthy than a brave, courageous hero.  May we admire deeply--may we be admired deeply--for the companions we may be on this journey.