Zoomer Chronicles: Personae

     Only within the past three months has the notion of persona been an option worthy of my consideration--my adult consideration.  I have not fully embraced the notion, yet, I am considering its value to me.
     Zoomer is a vital persona to transport me to a better way of living--a vehicle from immobilized isolation to mobilized companionship.  Without Invacare FDX-MCG, I lived in a paralyzing isolation that I want no part of reliving.  Invacare FDX-MCG was powered by batteries, yet, only Zoomer empowers me to go beyond immobilized isolation.
     I have lived with other personae in my younger days.  All personae were chosen by me--by family and friends--to expand my shy, introverted, insecure self.
    Patrushka was my first indication of my father's love of the Russian world.  He could not transport his family--his life--to Russia [he tried:)], but, he could bring the Russian world to his family--to his life.
    Patty Tricia was my sister's endearment.  It was playful.  I don't remember much more of it.
    Pat.  The only person with...not with permission, but with the proper association...to address me so was Mr. Merry.  He came into my life at two very different, yet two very different periods of my life.  Ray and Mary Merry were the loving parents of my childhood friend, Jeannie Merry.  Jeannie and I were quite a pair. She had the full use of both hands.  I could walk.  Jeannie had osteogenesis imperfecta.  We were friends in the early 1960s.  We went to kindergarten together, I believe.  Due to her osteogenesis imperfecta, it was for her parents to transport her within their split level home.  Yet, Ray Merry did not cast a dark shadow over Jeannie's life.  She was a joyful person.  I have lost touch with her.  The last I knew she was a student at Arizona State University, who was majoring in nutrition.  Is she still alive?  Did her osteogenesis imperfecta accelerate her aging process?  Is she still alive?  Honestly, I do not know.  My mastery of research does not render answers.  But, I digress.  Ray Merry--or Mr. Merry as any child would address an adult--was playful in spirit with me.  We lost touch.  Then, in high school, one of the assistant principals was none other than Mr. Merry.  I had not achieved the age that would enable me to address him by his given name.
     Bubbles.  Yes, Bubbles.  What else do you call a classmate--a choir partner--who laughed so hard that she starts snorting?  I had remembered the name, but, it was not until a recent visit from Woody or Woodstock that I was reminded of my snorting, bubbly persona.  Bubbles was the alter ego to the teenager struggling to be accepted for who she was.  I was not alone.  I sang, I laughed with Woodstock, and Jungle Bunny, and then, oh, we can't forget Grunt or Gruntly.  I have no idea how he got that name.  Grunt or Gruntly hardly personified the friendly, unconditionally loving classmate.  Everybody liked Gruntly.  Teachers, classmates, cliques.  Gruntly exceeded the confines of any cliques.  Gruntly was judgmental of no one.
    Ms. P.T.  A teenager coming of age during the emergence of Gloria Steinem--of Ms. magazine--found someone who was advocating a more liberated identity that accepted the potential of underestimated individuals--women.  A high school home ec project required the construction of some project.  Together with my dad, we created wooden bookends with the cork letters Ms. on one bookend and P.T. on the other bookend.  I have those bookends yet today.  I am still seeking liberation--fulfillment of a life I don't understand.
    Perfect Patty Thorsen.  Having joined the library staff, some had trouble remembering my previous department, as though that really mattered.  It seemed so at the time.  PPT--Product Performance Testing--was quickly translated to Perfect Patty Thorsen.  Amid struggles to meet up to department--company--production standards, Perfect Patty Thorsen has survived in friendship with a work partner in crime.
    Roboaunt?  Yes, Roboaunt.  The nervous introduction of Zoomer to my nephew was embraced fully.  Thus, among my personae is Roboaunt.  The name, in and of itself, is not my favorite.  Yet, that my nephew so called me--has so embraced me--Roboaunt is a persona I welcome.  
   I relinquished Pat long ago to describe me.  Patrushka is used no more.  Yet, hearing her once more brings Russia back to life in me.  Patty Tricia brings to life a loyal sister, who took the abuse of  a frustrated, bratty little sister.  Patty Tricia's sister is the best sistah any person could ever wish to be given.  Bubbles. Long ago, she went flat.  Roboaunt has to grow on me.  Time  with Zoomer--time with my nephew--may change that.  Bubbles has adult connotations that do not befit me.  Yet, the fun spirit of Bubbles is there somewhere, maybe???  I don't know.  Perfect Patty Thorsen is fun.  Maybe Perfect Patty is Bubbles' adult persona.
    I want to embrace my personae as they befit me.  Yet, I do not want to embrace any of my personae, however endearing they may be to me, at the price of assassinating the true character I was given at birth to live til death do us part.