A Hijjacking

     Hijacking of planes was common in the 1970s.  Long before the Homeland Security Administration, the terrain was quite different.  Today, the Transportation Security Administration is charged with protecting the flying public from hijackings.
     The TSA has not been granted the power to prevent the hijackings I experience--hijacking of my nervous system when I feel emotionally threatened.  I can withstand stress.  Humor.  Reflection.  These are but two of the coping strategies I have used during my 51 years.
     Emotionally threatened?  If it is not rooted in withstanding stress, then what is it?  Though not a scholar of neurology, I do study the triggers.
     Friends do not trigger emotional threats to me.  They never have.  They never could.  Friendship is not rooted in power-based authority.  Good friends trigger no emotional threats to me.
     Authority figures.  Supervisors at work.  However much I liked the individual, I was afraid of being criticized negatively, or worse yet, fired.  I understood the terrain of being demoted--the terrain of being underestimated.  Being fired. Knowing that that was highly unlikely--knowing that intellectually--was far different from being free of the fear.
     Authority figures have not been limited to the work world, although those authority figures are the easiest to portray.
     I have had epilepsy since I was a child.  When I was born, my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck five times, which cut off the oxygen supply to the left side of my brain. [If I had a nickel for every time I have uttered those words, I would be a rich woman:)]  One of the realities that flows from my birth is that I have extra electrical activity in my brain--a thunderstorm.  Anticonvulsants keep the thunderstorms at bay.
     I have been told I have intentional tremors on my left side,  primarily in my left hand--my predominant hand.  The harder I try to do a given task--the more I intend to do a given task, the more I have tremors.
     Upon learning that fact, no, long before that, I concentrated on maintaining a level of inner calm.  Just as I have taken anticonvulsants to keep my seizures at bay, so too I have needed to employ other strategies to maintain a level of inner calm.  Humor.  Music.  Reflection.  Writing.  Seeking the best in other people.  It may seem to be superficial to seek the best in other people--to seek the positive in life.  If done properly, it is far from superficial.  If seeking the best of life--the best  in other people--is undertaken in opposition to ignoring the negative, then it is superficial. Ignoring the negative in life--whatever, or whoever it may be--makes impossible any hope of living fully.  Seeking the best in other people--seeking the positive--is a hunt for a pearl.  But, it must be done with proper intent.  Ignoring the negative must be replaced with learning from what seems negative on a superficial level.
    These were among my strategies to keep the evil hijackers from taking control of my nervous system.  I have heard no one speak of being emotionally hijacked, or having his/her nervous system hijacked.  Yet, that is precisely what happens.
    I was hijacked emotionally today.  The evil hijackers took control of my nervous system.  I had the armor of anticonvulsants to protect me.  Yet, that was not enough to ward off the intentional tremors.  I try to preserve inner calm--ward off the temptation to be defensive regarding my human failings.  Yet, my evil intentional tremors manifested themselves in more illegible handwriting than that which is deemed on other days.
    The hijackers have been caught.  If they are to be neutered, they must be fingerprinted, and identified for who they are, they must be captured by professionals studied in where to quarantine them.