Losing a Life

     Little leaves me speechless.  Tonight I read an e-mail message saying that a 32-year-old woman, who was a part of my worship community, was murdered.  I know no specifics.  I did not have the privilege of knowing Carolyn.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
     Today, I spoke at length with several people.  Both women are legally blind.  One woman is hostile at the world for all that has befallen her in her life.  The other woman contributes to society from the root of her blindness.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
     Hostility....cynicism....pity....
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
     I listened to pity-filled, cynical, hostile woman for nearly two hours.  I abhor pity.  I cringe at cynicism's crust.  I hate hostility.
     Pity, cynicism, and hostility need not hover over the woman's spirit.  I pray for the woman.  She speaks of resurrection--belief in transformation.  Yet, personal transformation--willingness--must go before resurrection.  No magician's black hat, and wand.  Personal transformation.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
     I cannot--I will not--invest my brief life in hostility, cynicism, or pity.  Certainly not all three.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
     In hopes of nurturing some infinitesimal seed of transformation, I offered \a litany of personal challenges.  A glimpse of what is possible, if only personal willingness is sacrificed for a greater good.
     I do not know.  I may never know.  Did my litany of personal challenges pierce her self-pity, her crust of cynicism, and her heartfelt hostility.  My style is not to meet self-pity with self-pity.  That is not my style.  Frankly, most of the time, I do not think of my personal challenges to be such, I have my moments as any other human being.  Yet, until I meet someone who does not surmount their own--does not try--I must challenge them.  Yet, at times, I must offer my litany as a hope-filled offering--a wake-up call.  I slowed the pity, silenced the cynicism, and halted the hostility.  But, for how long?
     The second woman I spoke with today is a different spirit.  We are alike in our abhorrence of self-pity.  We disavow ourselves of cynicism's temptation.  We have no time for such wallowing.  Hostility?  We have no hours to harbor hostility.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
    We understand challenge.  We surmount it, when possible.  We claim no perfection.
    Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.
    Carolyn, I am sorry I did not know you.
     Life is a gift.  It is a fleeting gift.

Project Gutenberg

     Hi, my name is Patty.  I am a recovering proofreader.  I am a recovering publishing company employee.  I am a recovering librarian.
     Engaging in productive pursuits after exiting the paid work-world  is vital.  Not altruistic.  Essential.
     Volunteering.  Applying my gifts to the needs of other individuals, and organizations.  Essential.
     Today, I found mention of Project Gutenberg.
     Gutenberg?  Yes.  Gutenberg--Johannes Gutenberg--the inventor of the first printing press in 1440.  Project Gutenberg?  In 1971, Michael D. Hart was inspired to found Project Gutenberg.  The intent?  Digitize the printed word--digitize books.
     Publishers, librarians, and authors have grave concerns regarding this trend.  Lack of revenue.  Loss of the experience of holding a book.  The love of  turning the pages.  Preserving  the intellectual property of authors, who create the words we read, in whatever form those words may be.  My academic background is in library and information science.  For 24 years, I worked in a publishing company.  I have worked in a variety of libraries over thirty years.  I know authors.  I have known others.  I have deep respect for the craft of writing.  I dabble in the art of writing myself.  I revel in its celebration of words.
     Yet, I would like to offer a different perspective.
     The architecture of the Internet is a tremendous gem.  The electronic structure that we call the Internet was developed in the late 1960s.  The World Wide Web, on the other hand, was developed by Tim Berners-Lee, and his colleagues, in 1989.  The World Wide Web is a life line to many individuals.
     Most people can hop in a car, or walk to the nearest bookstore or library.  Yet, other individuals, for a variety of reasons, are not so capable.  Will is not the issue.  Unchangeable, unavoidable, life realities are the issues that rob--that can hijack--an individual's capability to roam the roads, or browse the open stacks.
     The Internet.  I support the foundation of the Internet.  The World Wide Web.  I surf the Information Superhighway.  Project Gutenberg.  I will explore that endeavor.
     Authors.  Librarians.  Publishers.  Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com--I will continue to support you.  Fear not.  I will continue to support you.
    Osteoarthritis.  Cerebral palsy.  Recovering proofreader.  Recovering proofreader.  Recovering librarian.  These simple realities lead me to an opportunity--proofreading printed works that are in the public domain.  Abetting a large digitizer of free e-books.  That is the crime to which I confess.
     May the debate over e-books be broadened to include those individuals, whose horizons may be expanded by access to information that well may be beyond their reach otherwise.
     Project Gutenberg.

Words. Abbreviated. Language. Corrupted.

     Obamacare.  "Ronnie Ree gun."  Pro-life.  Pro-abortion.  Romney-care.

     I am not a fan of  any of these words.  Corruption of words.  These four phrases are not political statements of my beliefs.  Not at all.

     Abbreviation of words.  Corruption of language.

    I value health care.  I am not opposed to Obama's health care programs.  "Obamacare" obliterates the reasons--the objections--people who use the phrase have.  Romney-care is nothing more than a knee-jerk reaction--an attention-getting word created specifically to express objection.

     Obstruction of justice.  Obamacare.  No, I don't mean "Obamacare" program is an obstruction of justice.  Obstruction of justice?  The term "Obamacare" obstructs the ability to revisit areas, which may be problematic in the execution of the statutes.  If Senators, and/or Representatives want to propose any provisions to correct unintended consequences of the program, their efforts are hindered by the emotionally-explosive term, "Obamacare."  O falls into the same pitfalls as does "Obamacare."

     Abbreviation of language.  Corruption of words.

   "Ronnie Ree' gun."  My elders have referred to President Ronald Reagan as, "Ronnie Ree' gun."  Contrary to the pronunciation the President preferred during his political career, "Ronald Ray' gun."  My sense  is that he may have used the previous pronunciation during his movie career.  If that is true, that does not forgive a "Ronnie Ree' gun." moniker being ascribed.  Those who know me know that I am not a Ronald Reagan-apologist.  I abhor name-calling.

     I do not feel particularly effective in affirming my convictions.  I pray my convictions will be heard without full benefit of my clearly-expressed thoughts and words.

    Abbreviation of words.  Corruption of language.

    Pro-life.  Pro-abortion.  Pro-choice.  Anti-choice.

    Abbreviation of words.  Corruption of language.  

   I intend no discussion of the issue of abortion.  Many people on both sides of the issue are far better advocates than I could ever be, or aspire, if I were so inclined.

    Life.  Abortion.  Choice.  Respect.

    Broad scope.  Vast intent.

    I treasure life.  Abortion has never visited my door.  I cannot speak from experience, or invest my precious energies in fighting for or against an issue with which I have no experience.  My life has given me a well-spring of experience to which I feel called to advocate.  I revere life.  I value choice.  I have made many choices, which are at the core of my past, current, and future life.  I have deep respect for each human being I have met, know, love, and  will  never know.

    Yet, I cannot distill my beliefs, simplify my convictions into nicknames, and slogans.  My convictions exceed the tight spaces afforded by abbreviated language.  My beliefs deserve more deliberation than nicknames, and abbreviated language afford. 

   Whatever the word, the language, or cause may be, may we abide by the treasure of life, the chalice from which our choice is poured, and the revere what respect deserves.   This is my prayer.

De-Baptism

Rene Lebouvier requested that his local Catholic church erase his name from the baptismal register

…

“Baptism is a spiritual gift, it’s bigger than we are,” said Bernard Podvin, spokesman for the French Bishops Confederation, who would not comment on the specifics of the Normandy case. “It can’t be confined to a purely administrative framework.”

      http://www.religionnews.com/index.php?/rnstext/growing_de-baptisms_reflect_europes_secular_drift/

     A dagger pierces my chest, as I read of Rene Lebouvier’s de-baptism.—Rene, and apparently many others in Europe.

     De-baptism.

     Pain.  Deep…deep sadness.

     De-baptism.

     I am a woman guided by deep respect, and admiration for the deliberate commitments other individuals make.  Deep respect, and admiration for such deliberation surmounts any disagreement I may have with the decisions made--with the individual deliberation.

     De-baptism.

     Yet, I feel pain.  Deep…deep sadness.

     De-baptism.

     I am neither a Church apologist, nor am I a crusader against the failings of the Church.

     I know people, who are committed apologists, and dedicated crusaders.  I know individuals, who have left the Church in anger, with deep hurt, disappointment, disillusionment, as well as for reasons I may never know, or understand.

     I know them.  I respect them.  I admire them.  I love them.

     Yet, none of that appeases deep...deep sadness this news delivers to my spirit.

     I do not feel anger.  No outrage.  No betrayal.

     Confusion?  Disillusionment?

     No.  Such call for more energy than is mine to give.

     De-baptism.

     Pain.  Deep...deep sadness.

     Baptism.  My own baptism.

     I remember that Day.

     Baptism day.  Sheer terror.  "Wait.  I can't do this.  I don't have all of the answers yet."

     Baptism day.  Sheer terror.  "Wait.  I am supposed to know much more than I do."

     Baptism day.  Sheer terror.  "Wait.  They are going to find out I am a fraud."

     De-baptism.  

     Sadness...deep sadness.

     Baptism.  My own baptism.

     I remember that Day.

     Joy.  Celebration.  An ecumenical blast.

     May individuals, who commit themselves to de-baptism, discover joy--be blessed with celebration.

A Fulfilling Living

     An amazing day.  An amazing week.
     January's ice box has moved into St. Paul today.  Yet, the sun shines.  Nary a cloud in the sky.  Cold hard facts.  I am warming to perfection.
     Monday's moments?
     Personal training.  New swimming equipment identified.  Noodles.  Paddles.  New exercises.  A stronger right hand perhaps?  Volunteering.  Research.  Pay dirt.  Struck gold.  Hit the jackpot.
     Tuesday's treasures?
     Catholic Church reform.  A new council.  The first of its kind.  Supporting researcher.  A witness to history that has yet to be made.  An invitation--a special invitation.  Do you want to share your story as part of a retreat on transition?  Amazing.
     Wednesday's wonders?
     Twenty-one Council members.  Twenty-one life stories.  Twenty-one crafters of a more democratic Catholic Church.  Wonder-filled.  Awe-inspiring.
     Thursday's triumph?  The noodle--the white noodle.  A hand clenched for a lifetime.  Through no fault of her own, my hand clenched tightly nonetheless.  Past efforts to open my clenched hand met with unwilling resistance from a stubborn soul.  There was just no possibility of an Open Hand--Outstretched Fingers, a Strong Wrist with a Firm Grip.
    An Open Hand.  Outstretching Fingers.  A Strengthening Wrist.  A Firming Grip.
    Amazing.  Wonder-filled.  Awe-inspiring.  Simple to some.  Amazing to me.

Catholic Church Reform: What Is It?

     Catholic Church reform.  What is it?  What should it be?  Who decides?  Who should decide?
     What is it?
     Hot button issues come to mind.  Women's ordination.  Married clergy. Liturgy--lay involvement.  Liturgy--inclusive language.
     These are valid, worthy issues central to Catholic Church reform.  Yet, in defining what it should be, dangers need to be identified--dangers to effecting reform.
     Herd mentality.  Rote support of hot button issues.  Rote support of advocates, who can speak the loudest.
     I write cognizant of time's luxury, which long-term disability affords me.  I write cognizant of my time's responsibility--God's time to me.  I must not squander that precious time--that precious responsibility.  Were I to squander, I would aggravate the problems--the issues--I sought to address.
     Who decides?
     "Church Hierarchy!" is the rallying cry of church reform campaigns.  Yet, hierarchy, to some degree, is necessary for the advancement of any organization's issues.  In the extreme, anarchy is hierarchy's adversary.  Effective Catholic Church reform lies somewhere in the middle.
     Catholic Church Reform.  Who decides?
     I know my place.  I make no submissive cry to avoid responsibility.  No.  I know my place.  I have been asked to help clarify issues.  Research.  Write drafts of recommendations.  Listen.  Heed direction of individuals who will make recommendations based in part upon my research.  Revise. Rewrite.  Submit.  Listen.
     I have tremendous respect for the knowledge, experience, convictions, and beliefs of the individuals I will work with.  I pray that I will nurture and maintain that same level of respect of and for each individual I meet.
    I pray that I will seek a broad understanding of the people, issues, organizations, and perspectives within the catholic church.  I pray not to imprison myself within the popular positions on hot button issues just to do so.  Already I sense myself doing just that.
   Catholic Church Reform.  What is it?
   It is not for me to define in isolation.  For now, I shall act as a squirrel might.  I shall gather nuts--food for thought--for the work ahead--nuts that may sustain me.  Websites.  Blogs.  Publications.  These are but three of the nuts I gather for the exciting, daunting, scary, exhilarating, unknown journey ahead me--ahead of us.

Compassion

     Compassion.
     Compassion gets a bad wrap.  Weak.  Idealistic.  Hopeless.  Unrealistic.
     I am not among those bad rappers.  I believe in compassion.  I believe in its ideal.  I live by its hope.
     Never before this week have a found a haven of individuals willing to admit--to affirm--their commitment to act with compassion--to live with and by compassion.
     We live in a world of instant gratification.  Impatience.  Deadlines.  As unsavory as those realities may be, these are facts of life.
     So, how do we counteract those societal pressures--those necessities of a working world--a healthy economy?  Some may say that there is no way to achieve those objectives.  We live in the world of Facebook, Twitter.  So, what hope is there to affirm--to advocate for--compassion?
     Compassion.  Achievable.  If so committed--if so wiling--you do have opportunities.  You do have options.
     PeaceNext.  Charter for Compassion.  Two opportunities.
     PeaceNext.  Social media need not be frivolous.  Peace Next.  The Facebook of Compassion.  Global.  Ecumenical.  Faith-filled.  Committed.
      I am new in my understanding of Peace Next.  Yet, I am committed to following my instincts.  As a lifelong pacifist, I am more than willing to open myself to this venue of hope.
      Interreligious dialogue.  Ecumenism.  A Parliament of World Religions its aspiration.
      In developing the World Wide Web--the human exchange of information and knowledge--within the architectural structure of the Internet, Tim Berners-Lee wrote of the opportunities for free, global communication, which are offered by such forums as PeaceNext.
      Given a forum, concrete actions are the next steps necessary to give Compassion a firm foundation.  So, what actions?  Where do I give my voice to compassion???
      The Charter for Compassion offers a wellspring of opportunity.
      The Charter is distinct from PeaceNext.  The Charter for Compassion sets forth commonsense principles to commit yourself to--to make yourself accountable to others.  The Charter for Compassion offers the space, where you may commit yourself to intentions of compassion not listed.
     In my humble opinion PeaceNext, and  The Charter for Compassion are the World Wide Web at its very best.
     Commit yourself to Compassion.