This is a question first asked in first grade. The question remains with me today, not as a fixation
on long-forgotten people, tangible pain, or specific places. No,
the sting of “Why are the kids
teasing me?” and specific words, phrases, or actions was removed many years ago by writing
about the question, and the insights the question has given me.
The factual basis of the question was my bent right arm, and
wrist, and limping right leg. My early
understanding of the question was centered on the facts. Yet, although I sought concrete facts from
family, dissatisfaction with the answers given to me led me through a journey
that I understood only in its necessity.
My dissatisfaction was not my expression of doubt—doubt of
love my family had for me. I had, nor do I have
any doubt. They loved, and love me. My dissatisfaction was threefold. First, the logic of ignoring the teasing. Second, saying that something was wrong with the bullies was no better
than my feeling that something was wrong with
me. No one profited from that
approach. Finally, the cowardice of
school administrators not to address
specific names involving teasing that I reported is unconscionable to this day.
“Why are the kids teasing
me” was a question that offered me a nascent understanding of “stolen dignity.”
The understanding, response, and inaction regarding teasing
was my invitation into a lifelong journey.
“Stolen dignity” is not
a word that appears in the Oxford Dictionary, http://oxforddictionaries.com/ .
It is a word that takes a lifetime to understand. Yet, pursuit of its meaning is worthy of our
earnest endeavors.
Comprehending “stolen
dignity” must begin with “dignity.” The Oxford Dictionary defines “dignity” http://oxforddictionaries.com/ as, the state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect: the dignity of labour; [count noun] a high rank or position: he promised dignities to the nobles in return
for his rival's murder. 2 a composed or
serious manner or style: he bowed with
great dignity. A sense of pride in
oneself; self-respect: it was beneath
his dignity to shout.
“Stolen” is
defined by the Oxford Dictionary http://oxforddictionaries.com/ as an adjective. The dictionary’s definition speaks of ideas,
rather than people, although I think it is plausible to insert “individuals” in the place of “ideas.”
Oxford defined “stolen” as
dishonestly pass off (another person‘s ideas) as one’s own.
Dignity is not a human
quality that is earned, nor is it possible without life experience. Dignity
is a gift. Stolen dignity is an experience, which is not earned. Similarly,
it is not possible without life experience.
Yet, while dignity is a
lifelong process, stolen dignity may
be given in an instant—in a moment
shorter than is possible to measure by any mechanism.
Stolen dignity is not a condition that is outgrown. Stolen dignity may be inflicted with a piercing knife any time from birth until death do us
part.
Stolen dignity is not an irreversible sentence. Fervor is the requisite spirit, which must energize
all efforts to extinguish the root causes of stolen dignity. Fervor underlies ever word I write.
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