Zoomer and I set out today to explore the southeast quadrant of Downtown St. Paul. I am not delusional. Downtown St. Paul, in toto, is small in geographic terms.
St. Peter. Wabasha. Cedar. Minnesota. Robert. Jackson. Temperance. Sibley. Wacouta. Wall. Broadway. Eleven blocks from west to east.
Eleventh. Tenth. Exchange. Ninth. Eighth. Seventh. Seventh Place. Sixth. Fifth. Fourth. Kellogg. Eleven blocks from north to south.
Within these eleven west- to east-bound streets, and within these eleven north- to south-bound streets are a myriad of adventures. The precise quotation escapes me, yet, one sidewalk inscription said it best. Essentially, it compared walking a dog with love. There is a whole world out there to explore. I will return to that quote in the sidewalk...once I remember its precise location:)
Intersections. Fifth and Sixth Streets are both parallel, and perpendicular. I kid you not. Twists and turns. Light-rail transit construction. I-94. I-35E. The Mississippi River. These are the boundaries of Downtown St. Paul. Yet, the question remains. How far may I push the envelope--how far may I push myself beyond the geographic boundaries of Downtown St. Paul?
This is not grandiose. This is not the stuff of graduate coursework. This is not the stuff of climbing the corporate ladder. I achieved academic goals. I worked in state government, a large corporation, and with an individual over a period of 27 years. Never did I approach the lowest rung on the corporate ladder. That is the past. Character building, to say the least. But, that is the past. It must be. I cannot let any unharnessed frustration or anger steer me off course. I may not know the direction I am to head, yet, I cannot allow any anger or frustration steer me off course from my journey.
Now I am called to live a different life. What does it look like? I am not sure. We have a new map. Now, Zoomer and I must begin using it. We must discover our new address. That is my choice. Today. That is my choice.
The geographic boundaries in which Zoomer and I travel are the framework of a different life--a life I am carving out for myself now, and for the future. This is not brain surgery. Yet, the only way I may know how to operate in this new life is to travel its arteries--breathe its air. So desperately, I want to encourage friends and family to do the same in their varied lives.
I do not have a vision for my friends, and family, any more than I understand what it is that I am supposed to live. I do have faith in them--faith in their potential. I do believe--understand--with every ounce of my being, that college graduation, release from prison, and unemployment are all times when lifework needs to be mapped out.
Frustration--anger--channeled is a sign of hope. Frustration--anger--unharnessed is a squandered opportunity.
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