This morning I came to church conflicted as to how to express myself. My sense is that I am not alone. I felt extremely grateful to everyone for their tremendous support--their prayers--as I find solutions to my physical problems walking. Expressing gratitude is usually quite natural for me to do. I hate being needy--at least expressing my needs has been something I hated to do.
This morning, a reversal of those two inclinations presented itself to me. I knew that I felt grateful that I have courses of treatment I can pursue--surgery, and a motor scooter. Yet, I was not ready to relinquish expressing my needs for support. I feared that if I expressed too much gratitude that I would lose the right to express my needs for strength and support in the future--or that my gratitude might drown out my appeals for support.
I fear I may be experiencing fleeting gratitude. I wanted what seemed unattainable--a diagnosis for my problems walking. I could have wanted anything. The point is, once I got what I wanted--a diagnosis, and a course of treatment--my appreciation for that diagnosis was a distant memory.
I have three questions. Do you ever experience fleeting gratitude? Is fleeting gratitude a side effect of the pace that we live our lives? Is fleeting gratitude a sign of disproportionate expectations we have for our lives?
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