Care-giving...an Inheritance...

     A nightly local newscast featured the need that adults in their late 40s and 50s have to care for their parents.    

     Upon my 88-year-old grandmother's death, my 88-year-old grandfather was welcomed to live with us.  For the next seven years--from 1975 through 1982, my life was enriched by a gentle storyteller.  I knew my grandfather as Ray.  We all did.  "I am too young to be called Grandpa," Ray said.

     In younger days, he had a hot temper.  I knew a man, who was filled with many prejudices.  Yet, Ray was a gentle man during my lifetime of knowing him.

     Until the day I die, I pray I may live up to what Ray said to me--to us.  

     "When I die, don't be sad.

      "I have made amends with everyone I had differences with."

     Ray's words--Ray's inheritance to me--has been a guiding light in my life.

     If I make amends with everyone I have had differences, I will have lived fully.

     Thank you, Mom and Dad.  Thank you, Ray.  

     You planted the seedlings of care-giving in my life.

Elizabeth Edwards. Resilience.

     I just learned that Elizabeth Edwards died today.
     I commend to you Elizabeth Edwards' autobiography, Resilience:  Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life's Adversities.  I read it earlier this year. 
     Reflections.
     Elizabeth conveyed a truth FAR too often missed.  Response to our lives' experiences, whatever they may be, is not a simple matter.  Reading her life's story conveyed to me the importance of living the nuances of my experiences.  To live the nuances--the complicated realities of my life--with one unified response, with one broad stroke of a brush, is to miss Elizabeth's conveyed truth.
     Burdens.  Gifts.
     She addressed the complexities of her husband's affair in a way worthy of our notice.  Elizabeth made a distinction between her relationship with her husband, and her partnership with John as a parent to their four children--three of whom are still living.  When questioned by confounded reporters, as to why she continued to have amicable contact with John, she said something to the effect that John is a good father.  She said she did not want to get in the way of those strong relationships continuing.
    Life's Adversities.
    She lived realistic optimism.  She did not deny what she was facing.  Yet, she took actions necessary to co-create a positive life for herself--for her family.   She used her life experiences to support research and exploration.   My rereading is needed to listen as to what actions I may take in my own life.  How do I--how do we--live our lives.
     I pray that I do not elevate Elizabeth to the precarious perch of a hero.  She deserves a more personal response than heroism conveys.  I do not want to romanticize how she handled her life experiences.  That would be to drown out the truths she offers with noisy. self-serving declarations.
    My prayer is that I and others may be motivated to read her autobiography, and learn what she can teach us regarding resilience, reflection, burdens, gifts, and adversities.
     Resilience:  Reflections on the Burdens, and Gifts, of Facing Life's Adversities   
                                                                      Elizabeth Edwards, 1949-2010

Dignitaries of Compassion

     This week two experiences regarding help, listening, and hearing were given to me.  The first came with a doctor, who is new to me.  I was desperate for help.  I did not want to feel as needy as I felt.  Yet, I came to the doctor with undeniable needs.  The second experience continues yet today.  When I receive help, how do I respond?
     I am not alone in having needs--undeniable needs.  I am not alone in needing help.  If all of us have been given undeniable needs, does that mean that help is undeniable?
     Help.
     Can I ask for help?  Do I exert the strength I have been given to be needy to the degree I require?  Can I dignify compassion, while I deflect pity for my needs?
     Dignitaries of Compassion.  Deflectors of Pity.  
     Can we serve as dignitaries of compassion in our lives each day, as we meet individuals in need?  Can we be deflectors of pity, who serve as dignitaries of compassion?
     Cultivators Who Redefine "Needy."  
     Can we be cultivators willing to redefine needy?  Can we be cultivators willing to redefine undeniable help?
     Undeniable Needs.  Undeniable Help.  
     Do we hear undeniable needs?  Do we listen to provide undeniable help?
     Worthy Recipients?
     Do we view ourselves as the only worthy recipients of undeniable help?
     Do we view others as the only worthy recipients of undeniable help?
     Recipients.  Seekers.  Recipients.
     I am not alone.  We are receiving help.  Yet, how are we accepting it?  What are our undeniable needs?
    What undeniable help do we seek?  What undeniable help will we receive?

Don't Take Things Personally???

The Benefits of Not Taking Things Personally

     The biggest benefits of not taking things personally are self-awareness and clarity. Being centered and grounded while knowing that only you can dictate whether or not you’re on track or whether or not you’re successful is a reward in and of itself. Anyone who has experienced this state of being knows how good it feels. Once you get a taste of it, you’ll strive to be in that state more often. Even when you get thrown off, you’ll relish the knowledge that you get to choose whether or not to remain stuck. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

    Christine Kane, "How to NOT Take Things Personally:  A Practical Guide"          http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-not-take-things-personally-a-practical-guide/#comment-388978

     Don't take things personally??? Hmmmm.... I am not sure that I agree....although I laughed aloud, when I read, "shut up and listen" [A friend gave me that advice, which I have heeded.] OK, not engaging in self-torture, and not becoming bitter about little things in daily life, OK, I can endorse--embrace--that wholeheartedly.... But...Without taking things personally, there is no hope for insight, growth, or sensitivity.... Without taking things personally, there is no hope of flourishing from "negative" experiences, or influences. Now, taking things personally may not be comforting, at first. But....It seems to me that the very core of living--breathing--demands "taking things personally," inhaling the world around us....inhaling all of the lessons available to us to live more fully...more authentically. Many times I have learned from--been given insight regarding--experiences and comments that others lovingly advised me not to take personally. By negative experiences and comments, I am referring to those in my life that have been related to disabilities over which I have no control to change. Ignorance of others is not an excuse to make. To do so is to miss the opportunity to nurture positive attitudes and deeper understanding between each of us as human beings. I will reread this, and try to apply it. In my humble opinion, we need to engage in more "taking things personally," not less.

The Gift That Keeps on Taking

     Throughout my life, I have known that my life experiences were gifts, which I must accept, and from which I must learn.  I am called to learn.  I must answer that call.  Each of us must answer our call. 

     I do not believe in mistakes.  Yes, I make mistakes.  But, I do not believe in mistakes.

     My birth was planned.  I was wanted.  I am wanted.  I was loved.  I am loved.

     I do not believe in doom--in being doomed to a negative existence.  I have doubts.  I will have doubts.  I am tested.  I will be tested.  But, I am not doomed.  I cannot be.  None of us is.  None of us can be so doomed.

     I do not believe in evil.  Nothing in the air I breathe is evil.

     All of the air that I breathe is filled with lessons.  I must be a student of those lessons.

     I am driven.  I am driven to appreciate, as Michael J. Fox says of his Parkinson's Disease, "the gift that keeps on taking."  I am called to appreciate my gifts.  Each of us is.  All of us are so called.

     My gifts?  Cerebral palsy and epilepsy.  The insights that flow from them.

     In "A Conversation with Michael J. Fox," CNN's Sanjay Gupta asked, "Do you ever ask yourself, 'Why me?"  

     Michael J. Fox responded, "Why not me?" ... "It is what it is."

     Fox voices the movement we must make from self-pity to determination.  He speaks with or of no arrogance.  If we are to receive the gifts we are given--our life experiences--then, we may not truncate them.  Painful though the process may be, to truncate our life experiences is to trip, and to fall flat on our faces.

    My life experiences are gifts.  I will my acceptance.  I will learn.  I will accept my call.  I am willing.  I call you.  Join me.

Intuition. Action. Transformation.

     Often, we speak of following our intuition.  Sometimes, it relates to people. Sometimes, it relates to a situation in which we find ourselves.  Most often, our spoken words are voiced in hindsight, "I should have followed my intuition."  Such hindsight speaks of an omen that we believe we should have anticipated, and on which we should have acted.
     Hindsight is useless self-torture.  Hindsight may not be the starting point from which we derive our actions for the future.  We are not disciplined to learn the lessons that might otherwise flow from it, if given the opportunity.
     Intuition.
     Intuition must be our starting point.  Disciplined, keen intuition.  We must discipline ourselves to listen to what we intuit--to what we "perceive without reasoning."  To intuit is not to disregard--not to forego--reasoning.  To intuit is the starting point to listen to other people without judgment.  Intuition is the child of to intuit. Only after we have intuited, may we receive an intuition--a keen and quick insight, as it is defined.
    Trust.
     In order to act upon intuitions we are given, we must trust. First, we must trust ourselves.  Trust is the preparation we are given to attune ourselves--our ears and our actions--to any force outside ourselves.  Trust requires discipline.  We must trust ourselves before we place our trust in anyone else.  We may not--we will not--act with trustworthiness always.  However, we must believe that we are trustworthy.  We must believe that we have been given the requisite capacity to act as trustworthy individuals, if we may having any hope of doing so.
     But, we must exceed ourselves in our will to trust.  How do we achieve that aspiration?
     Listen.
     Whom should I listen to?  What do I hear?  Whom do I hear?  Do I hear my voice?
     Cynicism breeds inaction.  Inaction breeds cowardice.
     Reason.
     Action without reason lacks integrity.  Action without intuition lacks the requisite passion to withstand cynical cowardice.
    Only after intuiting, receiving an intuition, trusting, and listening should we even consider acting. 
    Daily living, world events, and current affairs lead me to these convictions.  Now to transform convictions into actions.  That is uncharted territory in my book.  I pray for such trans-formations--for me, for each of us..

The Velcro Principle

     Before today I have not had the courage to express a long-held curiosity.  Are brain damage, short-term memory loss, intuition, and trust connected?  May intuition and trust be nurtured as agents to mitigate short-term memory loss caused by brain damage?
     I preface my reflections with a caveat.  First, at birth--my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck five times.  Oxygen was deprived from the left side of my brain, which controls the right side of my body--my right hand, arm, and leg.  That brain damage manifests itself in cerebral palsy, and epilepsy.
     I have known no other way of living.  I pray my questions are not excuses for my actions.
     With that said, I have a responsibility to express questions that may not arise as the result of clinical research, the practice of  medicine, or of auxiliary sciences.  I respect the contributions of all three.  Yet, these are not--may not be--the sole arbiters to living more fully.
     Short-term memory.  The Velcro Principle applies.  If there is any hope of saving what soon will be lost, I must stick to the Velcro Principle.
     The Velcro Principle?  The process of writing down the information is vital.  Participating in the adherence of information to my brain is essential.  Reading the information in writing is the next best solution.
     These two solutions are not mine alone, not by any stretch of the imagination. Yet, they are my starting points.
    Intuition.  Trust.
    Intuition?  That unspoken warning that screams out to my ears alone, "This information will be lost to you soon.  Act.  Act now.  Capture this information--act--before it floats beyond your memory's grasp."
    Trust?  "Should I act?  I should be able to remember this information longer.  Others do."
    Trust?  "I know that this information will float away as clearly as a kite in the springtime sky."
    The kiss of death?  "Don't worry about writing this down.  I will give this to you in writing," others tell me.
    The kiss of death.  I hear my voice, "If I do not write now, this information will be lost to me.  I must attach it to my brain with a secure piece of Velcro.  I must adhere to the Velcro Principle."
    "OK," I say obediently to the others.  My voice whispers, "It is OK to stop listening.  But, you know, you are doomed to forgetting, if you stop listening.  Yet, I must obey the others."
     By misplacing my trust from me to others, am I damaging the treasure of intuition that has been given to me?  If I displace my trust of others and replace it into my own hands, could I retrieve the short-term memory lost to me?  Am I disabling myself  by not making use of what has been given to me?  How do I reclaim my gifts without being defensive--without repelling other individuals, who have been given to me in my life?  How do I explain the Velcro Principle?  How do I adhere to the Velcro Principle?

Setting the Wheels in Motion

     For the past year, the prospect of living with a scooter has loomed over me--over my future.  With Advent, I will prepare to move into a Red Scooter--a new vehicle for me.  The reason?  My get up and go got up and went.  It did not run away.  An aging body.  Weakening legs.  It limped out of my life beyond my grasp to retrieve.
     I am called to accelerate my pace toward a red scooter, so that I may move back into circulation.
     I know that fact. I knew that fact all too well.    
     Yet, that knowing did not translate to a fast, heartfelt acceptance.  I knew I needed to grieve the loss of walking--of moving quickly.  I knew I needed to grieve physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
     Grief.  Fear.  Facts.  Fear.  Acceptance.
     I am not Grief's sole companion.  Each of us is Grief's intimate. Not in the same way. Not at all times.  Neither is ours to dictate.
     Fear demands my full surrender, patience, perseverance.  Only then may I embrace Acceptance fully.
     Grief.  Fear. Facts. Fear.  Acceptance.  None  may not be rushed--abbreviated--if full healing is to be possible.
     Full Healing is no cure.  Full Healing will not return me to my former body.  Full Healing must be the beginning of a new way of living--a New Form.
     My New Form?  Yet today, I may walk some.  Stamina is no longer mine--not for now.  Advent brings to me preparation for a different movement.  More learning.  A Red Scooter.  My pace will be different from others so embodied.  My mind is ready to go forth with this New Form--with this Red Scooter.
     My journey has not been taken at a timed pace toward a known destination.  The time of arrival has been vague, at best, certainly not by any schedule known to me. My journey's pace has not been timed by My Will's control, strong though she may be.  Strength masquerades no control for me to exercise.
    Expectations--mine, others--were not for me to control.  Waiting with faith--praying--that the necessary fortitude would be given to me--that was mine to will.  
    Fear.  The scooter will fall on top of me.  Fact.  With time, the words to describe my fear have dissolved.  Fear.  I am becoming Pathetic with a capital P.  Pathetic Patty.
    I may not succumb to that Fear.  To do so would be to compromise the person I have been for 50 years--the person I pray I may be in the years I am given to live.
    I move forward now.  I ask that I may relinquish any expectation of when I should have accepted the inevitable movement into a scooter.  I ask that I release any temptation to judge how this next chapter is to live compared to what my fears have been.  
     Acceptance is no more a given than is walking.  Both are gifts.  Both are to be treasured.  Neither is to be demanded or second guessed.  
   I am not alone in my calling.  We are called--each of us is called--to move from Grief, Fear, Facts, and Fear to Acceptance.  Our time--the cause--will not be in sync--identical.  Yet, each of us must embrace our calling together with a Capital C--with a holy, Capital E.

Health is a Gift, NOT a Given

      The prospect that the health care reform debate will be reignited concerns me.  Why?  The pros and cons of no proposal interest me.             My message to every individual engaged in such a debate is simple.  Before stating any position on this issue, please contemplate the following truth, then, and only then proceed to advocate for the cause.      None of us is guaranteed that we will wake up with the same capabilities that we go to sleep tonight.  Our health is not a given over which we may presume ownership.  Health--physical, mental, psychological, spiritual--is a gift.  We cannot compromise that gift, lest we lose it, and deservedly so.

Hate Speech

     In recent weeks, bullying, and other abhorrent expressions of disrespect.  I am compelled to offer a different perspective to hate speech.

     Every instance of hate speech is a call to individuals and society to examine the response that will eliminate the source of hatred - a response that reflects the values of society toward each individual and group.  Instances of hate speech cannot be dismissed as affecting only individuals or small groups - hate speech affects the integrity with which everyone in society lives.                                                           We have a responsibility to convey moral outrage, and engage in declarative acts of living that make clear that hate speech is not acceptable.

Invitation--Commitment--to Civility

Difference of opinion is an edifying--enlightening--opportunity for truth. Lack of civility is not. 

Signing this pledge is the most constructive action I know to take.  I hope you will consider doing the same.

If not, I respect your right not to do so.

The pledge that follows is from Sojourners' Magazine.

Are you ready? Like it or not, election season is upon us with its requisite yard signs, campaign promises, attack ads, and more people lobbying you in public places and knocking on your door than when it’s Girl Scout cookie time (btw, we love those cookies).

Did you know that Sojourners doesn’t support any candidates during election season? Our motto is “no permanent friends, no permanent enemies, only permanent issues” -- and, trust us, there will be plenty of issues waiting for us on the other side of Election Day.

Frankly, we’d like to take a vacation until November 3, but since that isn’t an option, we came up with a game plan to survive the season of mud-slinging: our first-ever Truth and Civility Election Watch!

Want to join us? Sign our TCEW Pledge, print off our fun deputy badge, and get started.

Truth and Civility Election Watch Pledge

For the duration of the election season, I hereby pledge to uphold the highest standards of truth and civility in word, thought, and deed.

On my honor, I will:

•    Just say no to crazy email forwards, and to any other noxious electronic communication that comes my way. Everyone in your address book will thank us. We promise.

•    Communicate in a spirit of truth, humility, love, and patience with all people I come in contact with, despite our political disagreements or family relationship.That goes for Uncle Frank. Especially Uncle Frank.

•    Question any and all statements that sound mean, vindictive, or absurd; that provide no source or context; or that are politically motivated. So, pretty much everything you hear on cable TV news.

•    Share and enjoy stories of folks who are living out an attitude of truth and civility. Make sure each story meets both requirements: Nice people telling lies don’t count.
•    As a witness for God, encourage and spread a message of hope and reconciliation to a world that is deeply divided by political and cultural differences.Like Jesus taught.

In the coming weeks we’ll highlight civil discourse and actions on our blog, compile our very own Truth and Civility Honor Roll with submissions from people like you, and call the news media to account when they give airtime or ink to uncivil or untruthful dialogue.

Tired of the hateful rants, lying, and deceptive rhetoric? Don’t suffer in silence -- join the Truth and Civility Election Watch today!

Here’s to a rousing invigoration of truth and civility. Oh, and don’t forget to vote -- it is still important.

Peace,

Tim, Jim, Elizabeth, and the rest of the team at Sojourners


P.S. Want to take your commitment to Truth and Civility more seriously? Check out our full-length Civility Covenant, which outlines scriptural teachings on the topic -- perfect for teaching at your next Sunday School or small group.

Obama: Affirmation of Faith

     "I am a Christian by choice," Obama began, standing beneath a blazing son, when asked why he was a Christian.                                 "I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead," Obama said.  "Being my brothers' and sisters' keeper.  Treating others as they would treat me.  And I think also understanding that, you know, that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility that we all have to have as human beings."           Humans are "sinful" and "flawed" beings that make mistakes and "achieve salvation through the grace of God,"  the president continued, adding that we also can "see God in other people and do our best to help them find their, you know, their own grace."              "So that's what I strive to do," Obama said.  "That's what I pray to do everyday.  I think my public service is part of that effort to express my Christian faith."                                                               At the same time, Obama emphasized his belief that freedom of religion is "part of the bedrock strength" of the United States.            "This is a country that is still predominantly Christian, but we have Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists" and others, he said, adding that "their own path to grace is one that we have to revere and respect as much as our own, and that is part of what makes this the country what it is."

President Barack Obama      http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/09/28/obama.tough.question/index.html?hpt=T1

StarTribune: Letter Re Metro Transit Strike

Metro transit

Spend a carless week before voting to strike  

Every transit worker and every Metropolitan Council member who is involved in labor negotiations must spend one week without the use of a car to get to work, to medical appointments and to the grocery store. Then, and only then, can they truly understand that another bus strike simply cannot happen ("Metro Transit workers reject 'last and best' contract offer," Sept. 21).

Regarding health insurance premiums: all transit workers who have voted down the most recent contract should calculate the financial cost that they would incur if they were to become sick or unable to work and had no insurance. Then they can tell me that they're going on strike.
I have endured two transit strikes, and they were paralyzing.
I do not drive. Health insurance is vital to meeting my ongoing medical needs -- anticonvulsants, and appointments related to preexisting conditions. I may not renegotiate for a better deal. I make the most of what I have been given. I find what is of value in my life, which is beyond measure.
I am not personally involved in the contract negotiations. But I will not stand by silently while another unconscionable strike takes place.
A bus strike is nothing short of taking people hostage. Return to your senses and to the bargaining table. Transit workers and the Metropolitan Council, listen and act.

PATTY THORSEN, ST. PAUL      http://www.startribune.com/opinion/letters/103751894.html?page=2&c=y

Suffering--Accepted Sorrow

One has to accept sorrow for it to be of any healing power
                              The Abbess of Andalusia: Flannery O'Connor's Spiritual Journey                                                                                      by Lorraine V. Murray         p. xiv
     Suffering need not be a static, negative experience.  There is a huge difference between suffering and seeking suffering.  I do not subscribe to Julian of Norwich's appeal to God to be given a bodily illness to draw her closer to Christ--closer to God.
     Yet, I do not run from my own suffering--literally or figuratively.  A younger person might say, "Cure me of this debilitating state of being."  I am old enough to know that the entirety of my cerebral palsy may not be cured by the stroke of a magic wand--by the artful manipulation of surgical implements.  I have and I will submit myself to surgery to mediate the effects of my cerebral palsy.  
     If I do not believe that I may be cured by any means, what then?  Does my conviction give me license to give up?  Does my conviction give me entree to fill the position of victim to make my living?    
     I think not.
     To speak of our lives as God's gift to us is understood often to be arrogant.      
     I disagree.    
     Life experience with my cerebral palsy has led me to view walking as a gift.  Yet, as often as I utter the words, "Walking is a gift," the words sound alien--contrived--to my ear.    
     Yet, to my heart, "Walking is a gift," is an intimate companion.  How does my ear--how does my mind--befriend, "Walking is a gift?"
    Suffering--accepted sorrow--is the vehicle that transforms, "Walking is a given," to "Walking is a gift."

Good Citizens

[Hester] feared that Catholicism would limit her intellectual horizons and require her to shut down her reason...."I doubt if your interests get less intellectual as you become more deeply involved in the Church, but...the intellect will take its place in a larger context and will cease to be tyrannical, if it has been."  In her opinion, a "tyrannical intellect was a danger; instead the mind serves best "when its anchored in the word of God."  
     The Abbess of Andalusia: Flannery O'Connor's Spiritual Journey by Lorraine V. Murray
     Raised to believe that all truth was confined to reason, I read this passage with great interest.  A younger Patty struggled to understand this seeming dichotomy between intellect and faith in God.  
     Today I read of the "tyrannical intellect," the mind, and, "being anchored in the word of God," and I find myself understanding faithfully that this is true.  Yet, I am perplexed as to how to convey its truth.  It may be that it is not the words of the mind that are the conveyors of O'Connor's words.  Presenting an offering of words is far easier.  But, the true conveyor of O'Connor's words is the offering of our life's example--the example of our daily living.  
      Many years ago, I was counseled, "Don't leave your mind outside the door of the church."  That advice was rooted in experiencing religion practiced by rote recitation.  I understand, treasure, and strive to live by that advice--by not leaving my mind outside the door of the church.  I seek out people, whose lives exemplify that mental engagement.                                                      Yet, as much as I treasure that advice, more is called for to live with spiritual engagement.  What is that?  I know it when I experience it in people I meet, know, and love.
     If we are to not leave our minds outside the door of the church, then what?  What are we called to convey from our inner sanctum?  How may we transform the Spirit of our inner sanctum outside the door of the church?  

Good citizens are engaged in their geographical community.   

Are we willing to be good citizens of our Faith?   

Fleeting Gratitude

     This morning I came to church conflicted as to how to express myself.  My sense is that I am not alone.  I felt extremely grateful to everyone for their tremendous support--their prayers--as I find solutions to my physical problems walking.  Expressing gratitude is usually quite natural for me to do.  I hate being needy--at least expressing my needs has been something I hated to do.
   This morning, a reversal of those two inclinations presented itself to me.  I knew that I felt grateful  that I have courses of treatment I can pursue--surgery, and a motor scooter.  Yet, I was not ready to relinquish expressing my needs for support.  I feared that if I expressed too much gratitude that I would lose the right to express my needs for strength and support in the future--or that my gratitude might drown out my appeals for support.                
   I fear I may be experiencing fleeting gratitude.  I wanted what seemed unattainable--a diagnosis for my problems walking.  I could have wanted anything.  The point is, once I got what I wanted--a diagnosis, and a course of treatment--my appreciation for that diagnosis was a distant memory.
   I have three questions.  Do you ever experience fleeting gratitude?  Is fleeting gratitude a side effect of the pace that we live our lives?  Is fleeting gratitude a sign of disproportionate expectations we have for our lives?

How--By What Spirit--Will I Walk?

I will walk in the presence of God, in the light of the living.

http://www.usccb.org/nab/091810.shtml#reading1 

All of the lessons for today remind us that there is something quite different from the natural body and the spiritual realms of our being.  But because we are so firmly locked into our natural bodies, we often let that realm of our experience dominate our realities.  And despite the problems associated with our natural bodies, we like to hold on to them and would even like to have them back in the same form again when we are resurrected.  We are really quite fond of our earthly selves.  Paul tries to help us to get past that hang up and to think of our futures in terms of the spiritual.   He tells us that we are not going to be resurrected in our earthly forms, but something a lot better.  I am old enough to be pretty glad about that.  My body has all sorts of aches and pains.  Focusing more on the spiritual is getting a lot more appealing for me now that it is quite clear that my natural body is pretty fallible.   

                                                                             Barbara Dilly, Creighton University

      http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/091810.html

    I meet this morning's readings as I confront the reality that this 50-year-old body of mine, altered at birth by cerebral palsy, is at the point of diminishing stamina, and in need of today's technology--a motorized scooter.  My head and my heart are yet to be in unison in embracing this reality.  Yet, my heart knows what is coming--what will be.

    Physical balance has been an issue throughout my life.  A different balance presents itself to me now.  In question?

    What is the difference between accommodating to the needs of a physical body, who is aging, and submitting to the physical body's changing needs?  Better stated, what is the difference between being accommodating to, and being submissive to my changing body?  

   I have lived 50 years by confronting life head on, without knowing that that was what I was doing.  If someone said, "I don't think you can do it," my response has been, "Do you wanna make a bet!"

     Before I was able to be defiant intentionally or habitually, I found a way to perform the two-handed exercises the physical therapists designed to get me to use both hands by using only my fully-functioning left hand.  Before I knew what I was doing, I accommodated to my physically-impaired right hand.

     I am less defiant than I was then.  I recognize the need--the wisdom-- to be so.  

     Today's psalm says, "I will walk in the presence of God, in the light of the living."

     "How will I walk?"  The means is clear.  My question is, "How do I bring the spirit by which I lived--walked--49 of my 50 years into harmony with the Spirit by whom I am called to  live--to create?" 

By the Grace of God, I Am What I Am

     Each time I read the same words--the same biblical passage designated in one of three liturgical cycles--I hear different messages, I understand different nuances of the same words.  Different passages within the same set of liturgical readings speak to me with each reading.  I come to the readings a different person from my last reading.  I leave a changed--a transformed--being.
     This morning, By the Grace of God, I Am What I Am stood out--I Am not i am.
     "We are loved into existence.  From tears of joy, our goodness can flow."  Jeanne Schuler from Creighton University used these words to describe this morning's passages.  As I read her reflection, I heard, "...our goodness can flow."  
     Taking the biblical passage, along with Schuler's reflection, the immediate question that comes to me is, "Do I capitalize on what I Am?  Do I view myself as someone, who has a Gift to offer--a Need to fill?  Or, do I simply go along about my day being what i am without any appreciation of and for what I have been given.
Schuler says, "We are loved into existence."
     She is speaking of God.  Yet, we can take her reflection one step further. Who, in our lives, love us, such that we may offer what we have been given to other people?  
     It is easy to think that, as a Minnesotan, all I should give, if I am to give anything, is to give the nice--the Minnesota nice--parts of my life.  Yet, the Minnesota Nice parts of my life do not contain the treasures--the pearls--of my life that are encrusted in my life challenges.  
     The treasures--the pearls--others have given me have not come from the Minnesota Nice parts of their lives.  The treasures--the pearls--others have blessed me with have deeply rooted in their challenges--in the living of their challenges.
     I love to write.  Sometimes, I am frustrated that my clearest writing emerges from my darkest moments--my deepest challenges.
     I want to write with the same clarity that flows at those moments of despair.  Yet, that is not to be. That is not to say that I should aspire to deep challenge, and despair, in order to write with clarity.  I love to write, but, I am not a masochist.  Rather, if I Am to be loved into existence, I Am compelled to cry Tears of Joy, so that my Goodness can Flow.
     The problem?  The obstacle?  Happy does not equal Joy.  Happy is momentary.  Happy is fleeting.  Joy is enduring.  Joy is deeply rooted.
     I shudder think of what my life would have been--what it would be--if I believed that, i am what i am.
I do believe in living with a sense of purpose.  That does not mean I am better--that my purpose is better--than anyone else's is.  
     My purpose is my compelling reason to breathe deeply each day.
     I shudder to think what my life would be, if I thought that my challenges were excuses to use not to live to the fullest of my potential.
     By the Grace of God, I Am What I Am.  May each of us be loved into existence--may each of us cry Tears of Joy, so that Goodness may Flow.

Justice Stephen Breyer: An Open Mind

Just now, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer expressed the essence of "an open mind."
His words excite me.  He was asked whether he has entered a case ever prejudging how he felt about a case.  He surprised Larry King, when he said that he did.
Specifically, Stephen Breyer said that to have an open mind is to "be open to changing them [your prejudgments] with argument and fact."
Breyer said that we do not come to issues with a blank slate.  We need to listen to--think about--Breyer's words when we express ourselves in speech, and in writing.  By doing so, we hold in proper esteem people in our lives--in our world.  By doing so, we have the greatest hope of effecting change in our world for the betterment of all.

Belief, Faith, and Religion

Listening to the public discourse regarding the freedom of Muslims to worship, I have been reminded of the complexity of belief, faith, and religion.

Too often, these three terms are used as synonyms.  They are interrelated, yet, they need to be distinguished.  We use labels to provide a frame of reference from which to proceed in human relations.

Yet, we must not use labels as a substitute for listening to, talking with, and understanding one another.

When I started to write this blog this week, I was surprised to find myself stopped in trying to introduce myself in a way that accurately describes and reflects who I am, what my beliefs, and faith are.  My problem?  I wanted to describe myself fully in labels,  rather than express myself fully in carefully chosen words, and in temperate voice.

In 2010, I attend a Catholic Mass in communion with individuals, who challenge me to live fully--to live with integrity.  I am a practicing Catholic--I am practicing so that I may affirm life, and rid my spirit of intolerance, disrespect.  I dedicate myself to be in communion with individuals with whom I am in agreement, but, much more importantly, I dedicate myself to be open to individuals with whom I do not share the same practices or beliefs.  I may say that I am firmly rooted in Christian teachings--in Christian living.

But...the moment I speak or act in any way that denigrates the dignity of someone whose beliefs or actions I disagree, I contradict my beliefs, disavow my faith, and lose the privilege of celebrating my religion.

I must resist any temptation to denigrate those individuals, who oppose the rights of other individuals to exercise the freedom of religion.

I dedicate myself to learn from--to be enriched by--the diversity of beliefs, opinions, and ways of living that surround me.  I pray all may share in this dedication.